I write here for myself to keep my thoughts organized about my personal uneventful life and everything
else in between. I speak Engrish for the most part. So if you're a judging close minded asshole or
excessively annoying grammar nazi - fuck you, shut up and go away. This is my place, my rules. Keep
your shoes on.
 
|
Saturday, November 12, 2011 @ 8:41 PM
  comment
My health has never been the best but I really didn't want to bother with it too much. It's too much of a hassle. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I've been bounce to all kinds of physicians lately ever since I finally visited my family doctor after a years of avoiding it.  Me: If I just let them grow out I won't have to look like I'm smuggling gumballs in my mouth for a couple of weeks after surgery. Brain: Vain bitch. Do it now while you have nothing going on so you can just hibernate like you usually do. Plus, the pain is going to keep coming back. Me: I don't like being cut Brain: Shut the fuck up. Grow some balls and get it over with once and for all. You're always fucking whining I'm tired of you. Me: FINE OK ILL FUCKING DO IT Brain: When are you going to make the appointment Me: Good question. (never) Brain: …................ I'll probably give it a week or two before I make the appointment so maybe if it grows out a bit more they wouldn't have to dig so deep in my gums to take it out. I don't have the slightest idea how it works so I'm not even sure if that'd help at all. Just being a pansy about it. I'm justifying it to myself as I'm doing it for my well-being but in reality it's because I'm afraid if I let all of them grow out it'll make my jaw or face bigger. Do not want man jaws or a square face. My face is big enough already. Sick. I worry too much about the wrong things.  The only upside of me being restricted from solid foods and eating in general is it actually helps me lose weight. Yeah yeah, it's unhealthy- I don't care. Whatever, I can't chew and I really don't like that mushy baby food crap. Oh, and fucking Zoloft was a big mistake. My eating habits didn't change but that medicine my doctor made me take just packs on the weight. I seriously think I got more depress taking it after a while whenever I see the numbers on the scale. I discontinued it and switched to another alternative without weight side effects. So far I've dropped 17lbs in the past month, although I think most of it was retained water weight. I think I'll actually be happy with my body for once if I can get rid of another 20lbs, since growing taller is impossible at this point. Initially I was trying to diet the "healthy" or correct way. Eat healthy and exercise. Who has time to keep up with it on a normal basis though? I'm not a morning person, I wake up late and I have a handful of pills I'm required to take daily. So my routine after I get up usually entails - having my coffee and taking a shitload of medicine + supplements which is like a fucking meal itself - So that's considered breakfast. I really don't have the appetite to eat in the morning (aka. 2pm). It's probably a habit since I never have breakfast, not even on a less than normal basis in my life. I'm always late or low on time. The day goes on, more procrastination and unproductive activities. Then I have what I call lunch (4-6pm) and continue my usual nonsense for a couple of hours. It's just precautions so I won't puke when I work out afterwards. I can only manage 1 meal a day or 2 if I'm lucky and have time. I don't get the whole eating 5 meals a day deal. It's impossible. I was doing circuit training with weights for about a week. That was when I realized how out of shape I am. I couldn't do push-ups to save my life. The routine I was doing was 30 minutes of strength, 20 minutes cardio and 10 minutes abs. Consisting of : (with 5-8lb weights) Squat and press: 50 reps Bent Over Dumbbell Rows: 30 reps Lunge with bicep curl: 50 reps Anterior raise + side lunge: 50 reps Push-ups: 30 reps Crunches: 15 reps Hip Lifts: 12 reps Cross body Crunches: 30 reps Bicycle Kicks 35 reps 2 minutes nonstop of each: Jumping jacks Boxing Jump rope Butt kickers In a mixed order but without breaks since its circuit training. That shit killed me. I felt like puking the first few days I finished but it went away after a couple of days. My legs were shaking after the workout but decreased by the days. The soreness never went away though. I also pretty much half-ass or cheated on the push-ups. I've never been able to do them well. I took the weekend off after that week since my friends were in town. That really threw me off track since I haven't worked out again since then. I really need to get back to it.  I'm so mad at myself for breaking the routine I was trying to start. I was going dictator bastard on myself too. Brain: "I don't give a shit if you don't feel well. I can see right through your excuses. Keep fucking doing it everyday." I bought weights and a yoga mat but there was one major flaw in my workout at home plan. A fucking sports bra. I haven't owned one since high school and after that I really just threw them out since I no longer did cross country track or anything. When I first started doing the cardio part I just thought "oh shit, should I just hold onto my boobs like a retard?... at least no one can see me doing this." I actually tried. I think it made it more difficult and the normal bras I own didn't help reduce impact at all. BUT I still did it that week boob torture and all. Oddly one of my proud dedication moments. That night I online shopping for a sports bra only to realize I don't know my own freaking measurements I always just wore whatever fits. Failed as a women. I spent 3 hours that night with a measuring tape trying to measure myself. Why do all the sites make it so goddamn complicated. Last resort = use the Nike sports bra calculator even though I was ordering from Moving Comfort. Good thing the damn thing fit when it came in the mail or that would have been 50 bucks down the drain. Why are sports bra so expensive anyway? I thought it'd be like underwear. BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN EXERCISING FUCK. The bra has not been put to good use yet. Okay, I'll start again Monday. Promise.  And note to self: Stop dying your fucking hair. I really didn't like the red/orange undertones especially in the sun so I decided to try one of those brass toners for once. I think I fried my hair since I lost track of time and left it in for waaaay too long. I've been soaking my hair with Biosilk and Garnier hair serum after showers hoping it'll magically fix it. I think I'll just cut it off soon, disregarding my mother's remark. "Don't cut your hair, it's the only thing pretty about you." Thanks mom. 0 Comments:
|
