& I realized happy dreams only makes me less happy when I wake up...

You see, you'd love to run home, but you know you don't have one
Because you're living in a world that you're best forgotten
 When you're thinking you're a joke and nobody's gonna listen
To the one small point I know they've been missing around here

I tend to forget about the times we had 

 And now it doesn't matter cause I felt so sad
 I've been disconnected
You're so distant

You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallow the light from the sun inside your room...

Yeah, she wants to tear you down
And she leaves without a sound
It's like falling backwards into no one's arms
 You're a bullet through my soul
And I'll never let you know

Living a reckless life is a way to abuse yourself.

It's worse than committing suicide.

It's like killing yourself slowly.

All abuse can become amusing in its own way.

Somewhere deep inside my heart

I ask myself how long I'm going to keep this life up.

Although I've been forsaken 

I wondered how long it will take to be completely disowned.

It's already happening...

Maybe today's the day or maybe tomorrow.

Why don't you even cry?

Because I'm dead inside.

How is living in general for you?

Do you ask how to live before you live life?

You just live because you're alive.

I think my life is just getting worse.

It's good that I at least know it.

Thinking back,

I think I didn't realize I was beyond anguished...

When I was in my worst state.

I realised it only later.

Although almost inconceivable — Sometimes, 

Something that a stranger blurts out, 

Could heal your emotional scars or, 

Change the direction your life headed.

It's not always your loved ones that mend your wounded heart. 

It could just be one of the people whom we cross paths with...

Have you found that someone?

I still haven't...

Although, I'm not sure I'm even looking anymore.
Looking for someone to save you,
Is like looking for a miracle.
And I don't believe in miracles.

I've learned that being more involved or 

Aware of my surroundings only brings more pain.

It's easier when everything's a blur.

It was easier when I tuned everything and everyone out.

I question if everyday is just another excuse for the day to pass.

Because thinking of when everything will reach its limit;

Scares me.

As if... 

I have the yips about living— 

Because I'm too scared; beyond the point of reason,

That I'm no longer able to resume what remains of my life.

Do you know what the most frightening hate in the world is? 

When love deteriorates into hatred. 

When this overflowing of time became a matter of endurance...

I'm just waiting for another tomorrow.

I'm waking up just to count the hours, minutes and seconds for the day to end,
over and over again.

In reality I don't have anything to countdown towards.
Everyday is and became like some sick pathetic joke.
What the fuck am I doing?

Why did I approach you?

You, whom I can't leave...

Even if I leave you behind and walk away...

All I see is you.

Those painful words you said one day...

If we'd never met each other

would it have been more painful?