I write here for myself to keep my thoughts organized about my personal uneventful life and everything
else in between. I speak Engrish for the most part. So if you're a judging close minded asshole or
excessively annoying grammar nazi - fuck you, shut up and go away. This is my place, my rules. Keep
your shoes on.
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Thursday, November 17, 2011 @ 12:53 AM
I was fine up until the point I got called into her office- I just exploded on her about how unprofessional and out of line it was. Also, that she should never fucking associate me with my father. What stood out was the fact that I held the grudge for a couple of weeks and my mind would usually replay the situation randomly. Oh, and then I proceeded to cry after. Mostly out of anger and the fact that I was already regretting it, I really shouldn't have done that. I knew better. I wasn't sobbing or crying dramatically. I think I just couldn't hold it in and it slipped for a moment. Maybe something was in my eye. Well, at least I didn't look like Alice Cooper afterwards. The rest of the conversation and follow up was uncomfortable. She changed my medications again because after this incident, she basically said she thinks I'm more fucked up than she originally thought I was to begin with. "Nicely." Then I got turfed back to therapy again. Fuck, what did I do. I guess I'll go for a few sessions just to shut her up then bullshit my way out again. I'll just talk about the weather and kangaroos next time for the hell of it. I never have much to say when I go. You'd think it'd be different since my thoughts are practically bouncing off my skull from racing all the time. But when the chips are down, I have nothing to say. Dull it out. So I went to pick up my new prescriptions. Going to the psychiatrist is like getting mystery flavored candies every time. I tired of it. Nothing works and the things that do work, I don't get to pick. Since when did it take 1 hour to fill a prescription anyway? I went to visit my mom's boutique afterwards. She had the entire interior design redone, it actually looked a lot better. Her recent inventory consisted of a lot of cute new winter wear from Korea and Japan. I picked out two new jackets. They're really not too heavy for the upcoming winter but who cares, all I need is a scarf and a hat- then I'm all good. I bought way too many new scarves. I should take a picture of the ones I got in the past month or so. Some knit sweater jacket coat. It's really thin but heavy and it pretty much just hangs off my shoulders cause the material is so heavy and I'm petite aka a fucking stub. More trench coats to the collection. Well I donated a lot of my old clothes. I guess it's something I can wear professionally and casually. More useless but oh so compelling accessories I recently bought. The vintage camera necklace actually looks like that. My pos camera does no justice to anything. It's only digital camera I have left is garbage. I think it's over 8 years old. Sigh. I really should save up to buy a better camera and get into photography again. But I'd have to do research and shit on all the new fancy ones in this modern age. What a headache. Why did you have to steal the one good memory I had left from him you fucking bitch. I was waiting for a ride from my friend who was in the area battling her car insurance company. So I bought some "groceries". Apples, bananas, 3 different type of teas and blackberries. YES! I finally found berries. Berries are really my fruit of choice but they're so high maintenance. It's not something I can buy a month supply of and leave it in the fridge. They go bad so fast. I can't finish them in time ever or keep up with going shopping / hunting for them all the time. Most places don't even see any except strawberries. I don't have much of an appetite lately but I should really get some real groceries that can be a healthy meal. But in the name of Kate Moss; Nothing tastes better than thin! So true but so untrue. I'll just binge then hate myself. I really need to go grocery shopping for healthy crap again. I've gained weight again, its probably a warning sign: ToTM inc. Always get miserable and bloated when it comes and I can never predict it. Apparently I have some kind of hormonal imbalance. I finally finished most of the paperwork that was stressing me the fuck out. I owe a lot of people for helping me out on this. Now, hopefully I actually get accepted for spring. I am so fucking late. Brain: Whats new? Brains an asshole. Chances are slim but pleaseeeeeeeeeee let it happen. I need to stop fucking up. Labels: doctor, fashion, shopping, weight 1 Comments: |