I write here for myself to keep my thoughts organized about my personal uneventful life and everything
else in between. I speak Engrish for the most part. So if you're a judging close minded asshole or
excessively annoying grammar nazi - fuck you, shut up and go away. This is my place, my rules. Keep
your shoes on.
 
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Sunday, December 25, 2011 @ 5:20 AM
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 Its finally Christmas, kind of disappointed there hasn't been any snow since the random snowstorm at the end of October. Its been a pretty warm winter so far compared to the ones before. I'm still just wearing my thin jackets or sweaters along with scarves. Most of the things I ordered online actually came in the mail before Christmas but that still doesn't change the fact that aside from a few of my family members- all my friends are going to receive their gifts late after factoring shipping and handling time or when I have time off from work. Most of my schedule is really restricted by my work hours aside from Wednesdays and sometimes Thursdays.  Some of the pile of presents I was working on finishing. My life is starting to feel so cluttered lately, this time I'm not just talking about it in a mental sense. I should have taken a picture of my floor with all the empty boxes and packages from 50 different places I had stuff shipped from while online shopping. I was honestly expecting the USPS to demand some kind of customs charge or whatever else fees they throw on for having so many things shipped to me all the time. It looks like I'm ready to build a castle out of cardboard boxes. My room is like a fucking bomb shelter. The laundry machine broke a week ago and I have yet to figure out what to do or how to go about it. I'm not even sure wheres the closest laundromat is, so I have a mountain of clothes building up from my lack of laundry doing. Not that I could help it. Also, I've been all over the place with paperwork and I'm so unorganized I keep losing everything. My main excuse is that my days are flipped entirely, by the time I get off work I don't have the willpower to do anything and I get up for work some time in the afternoon, fix up lunch which also happens to be my one meal of the day on a normal basis, procrastinate, eat and get ready to leave for work. There's no time for anything else when there should be. I'm just not very efficient.  Sneak peek at my desk. x_x I really need to put aside a day to organize everything but every time I clean my desk it ends up going back to looking like this within 3 days again. I'm hopeless. Yeah yeah, how unbecoming and unladylike- I don't really care until I feel like its closing in on me. This is why I will most definitely be an unsuccessful family person or housewife. Haha, you can spot my old crappy laptop buried under my pile of paperwork. I don't know why but every time holidays come around I tend to get depressed, maybe because they never mean anything. Its just another day for me while everyone is making a big deal out of it. Its a day that blatantly forces me to realize that I don't have a place I belong. I do occasionally use them as an excuse to do things for people that I'm thankful for or people I care about but to be quite honest, things I wanted to do this year- I would have done it with or without Christmas. Its an Unbirthday everyday. Maybe it isn't exactly a bad thing that I work through Christmas eve, day and new years. I keeps me preoccupied physically so I don't think too much about the day. Oh, and I get paid for it instead of me just going crazy and OCD clean. Christmas has put me behind on pay. Going broke again I need better budgeting skills. I have a feeling I'm going to go crazy soon.  A's gift came in the mail last night, thanks (: "Bath bombs because you take ridiculous baths and showers." The little note made me laugh, I really am notorious for it. Super cute, girly and neat as expected haha. It smelled really nice, but then I realized something- I have no idea how the hell bath bombs work...? I fail at being part of the female race. Seriously what the fuck, I'm going to have to Google it sometime or just throw them in and wish for the best. Besides failing at that, I also fail at getting presents on time. If you're reading- I'm sorry A, your present is still on an airplane somewhere flying from Korea. Happy Unbirthday presents are much cooler anyway! I'll get it to you as soon as I can, or maybe I should just ask one of the people going on that group trip to Florida to deliver it directly. Free shipping!  Another highlight of the week that came in the mail a couple of days ago - Vintage Floral Dr. Martens! I always wanted these, but I sadly wouldn't even get a chance to wear them much since aside from work which has a strict dress code, I don't go out very often. I should have invested in saving for a new camera instead. On the bright side, I received laptop as one of my Christmas presents so at least I'd be more likely to keep updated more since I can write in bed before I face plant onto the keyboard.    I think it was yesterday when I finally got the notice in my email that I wasn't accepted to the first school of my choice for the spring semester because I fucked up my GPA so bad my last few years and I've been out of school for a couple of years. I pretty much shot myself in the foot and now I'll probably have to take classes in community college for a semester or two, get a better GPA then transfer. More delays. Everything feels like a waste of time. The system is so annoying and I'm just unmotivated. I don't know what I want to do. Whenever I take the initiative to do something and fix whatever I've fucked up, things I'm working towards seem to be drifting further as I try. In the end, I have no one to blame but myself. I just cant help but feel like I'm at another dead end again and I'm not sure where to start untangling from this mess. 5:20am, I should sleep before I snooze my alarm a few hundred times and oversleep again. Labels: christmas, family, fashion, friends, presents, school 2 Comments:
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